Taipei, part 1: Ah-ma's funeral
Anyway, Ah-ma's (grandmother) funeral was a little different from Ah-gong's (grandfather). Tradition and culture still require a praying and prostration session every 7 days, a funeral praying day, the funeral, a 49th and 100th day praying session. Ah-ma's funeral was a mix of Mahayana Buddhist (but more Taiwanese-style), Daoist beliefts and practices, Taiwan cultural and family traditional practices. It should be noted that general Taiwanese spirituality and culture include some Confucian beliefs and philosophies.
Above: The altar on the funeral day at the funeral home. There were flowers all around the entire room. Each person that sent a flower arrangement (all done in lillies and orchids) had a placards with their name and relation. Below: The sons and daughters-in-law paying homage to their mother through a series of offerings and eventually also through kowtows. Ah-ma did not have any daughters. Note that the men stand in front of the women and they stand in order of status (oldest male to youngest male) and then the women stand in order of status (their marriage to sons). If Ah-ma had daughters, they would stand between the last son and the highest-status daughter-in-law.
The entire funeral process is all quite complicated and I doubt that my generation would likely carry on these practices unless it's an explicit expressed interest of the parent. The prayer days (depending on the day) could mean that you stand, kneel and kowtow to the various gods/buddhas and the spirit of the deceased from 5 minutes to 3 hours to 6-8 hours. And if you are like me with asthma and allergies galore, the burning of incense and paper money will not agree with your lungs and body. There was an open-casket viewing, which was a little daunting and definitely depressing. I already had to see my own mother's body as she wasted away for 2 years, and in the end, she was mere skin draped over a skeleton in her casket when she passed. It was a scary sight and she resembled a 1000 year old ice mummy. (btw- mom's funeral was simple and without fanfare or real ceremony, just as she requested.) Even though I really wasn't all that close to Ah-ma and she certainly looked much better than mom in the casket, I definitely dreaded looking at her. I had no choice. We had to stand around her casket while the monk performed various ceremonies. (It was easier at Ah-gong's funeral, when it was a closed casket.)
We had to wear these ribbon with old coins around our wrists and these little fabric things on our shoulders for the funeral and every time we had a praying ceremony for Ah-ma. I do not know the real reason for wearing them, but I must say all the differentiation in different styles and colors between grandsons and granddaughters are all very sexiest. This is a traditional and cultural practice that should be done away with in the modern world where women do and work more than men, and thus women should be valued more.
Click on photos above for explanation regarding the things we had to wear.
Left: Burning money after a 2.5 hour praying ceremony for Ah-ma.
Ah-gong's funeral definitely did not include religious Dao practices and there was no burning of money. His funeral was closer to an actual Mahayana Buddhist practices flavored by Taiwanese culture and family tradition. He chose to be buried. (Currently in a temporary, but beautifully designed, plot and will be dug up in 3 years to be put with the rest of the family tombs where all our ancestors are buried.) Ah-ma chose to be cremated (but not to full ashes) and her bones were collected and sealed in a green marble urn. After a year, those remains will also be moved to be with the ancestral tomb. Then every year, their tombs, along with other ancestral tombs, will be swept and cleaned on the Tomb Sweeping Festival. My dad and his brothers take turns sweeping the tombs. We don't know who will end up doing it when their generation passes.
Labels: misc babble
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